A feeling of being stuck not able to create feels awful. It gives me so much anxiety and my sense of self worth drops. I hate feeling this way, I always feel extremely useless. I haven’t made art nor worked on music in a few weeks, I haven’t even tried to pick up a brush or a marker. My brain just tells myself that I won’t know what to draw or paint but I honestly think of hundreds of things to draw I just don’t bother. I don’t know what it is.
I’ve decided to take about a week long break from social media. Will it help me? Who knows, however it’s still worth giving it a shot. I’ve started biking to work now so I can get active in some way. I lay in bed for hours on end but it’s the only place I feel comfortable. I always feel on edge everywhere else. Like watching your back, hoping no one is upset with you.
Music wise I was luckily able to release Paranoid as it was the last long I recorded before this whole mood switch happened. I still have another song coming, it just needs to be mixed. Maybe I’ll release it when I get back from my little break. I’ve mainly been watching movies and tv shows during this break. I somehow feel the break is justified because the amount of art/music I did during those months that I actually felt like working and being productive. I’m a very lazy person but I enjoy at least doing something while being lazy.
I mainly just hope things change soon, I don’t enjoy feeling this way, I’m sure no one does. I wish I could get back to making art and being happy. Hopefully soon.