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A Elegy to my past and the death that surrounds it

I cried for the first time about death today

I’ve experienced it more than I want

It runs deep, screaming in my front yard.

I’ve got a scar, and I realized it’s there

Not gone

I’ve been suppressing my emotions for so long

I feel utterly withdrawn

As I make my way back to reality

I’ve been confronted with the pain I’ve held back.

Death surrounds me

Death has grown up with me

Death will continue to crawl in my closet

watching, it’s checking its pockets

Looking for the people he dropped

Grabbing those who I care about a lot

Childhood trauma

I hear it a lot

So as I puff this marijuana

And try to find the nirvana I had as a kid

Shit, I wish it was as easy.

Was I even as happy as I believe?

Wish me luck, cause I’m going in.