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The Wrinkles In My Heart Scream Poem

The wrinkles in my heart scream

I walked alone in the park at night

My brother by my side

Searching for a high I might regret

Five years ago you wouldn’t want to meet me

My face yelled red.

I could of told you anything and you’d believe what I said.

Or would you of known I was high?

Those lines never got me anywhere but down

Those lines never got me anywhere but up

Up as in high, down as in life.

Because down I would go once again

Now I look old and warn

Torn from a childhood

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Anarchy In The Heart/A Poem About Ex’s

I seem to be too nice

Sometimes I let people use me

I’m learning to catch it before it happens

I don’t get it though

It’s not fair to you.

The lying that you’d pursue

You find these humans with emotions to devour

As you climb the tower of your shadows

I’ve met multiple people like you

Running from the past but breaking the present

Anarchy in the heart

These people are breaking fucking hearts

Around these parts

It’s not considered love

It’s considered an art

Smashing the windows of the love they once shared

Manipulating the man

I’ve been used more than I can count

I preach anarchy more than I speak

Yet this just hurts me

down to the bone

Now as I roam the world with pain on my back

And fear in my eyes

I’ll keep dragging on

Because I got anarchy in my heart

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Excuse me, I’m a paranoid freak poem

Check my pockets when someone’s behind me

Paranoid mind got me questioning you now.

People assume i’m pretentious

Can’t agree with that I’m jus counterfeit

People don’t know me

When you’re behind me I have to move

If you’re behind me radars blare through the room

A overall sense of doom

There’s someone out to get me, it’s so inhumane

The way it lays it’s eyes on me is always the same.

Wide open and manic, question your family.

The panic begins to set in

Question your friends

This may be the end

What did you say again? You hate me?

You lost something, check your pockets

Where are we going?

Scared to go to a party

I hardly know anyone

Who’s to say because i’m hearty

And laugh

That i’m not watching every move in this room.

People assume i’m paranoid.

They aren’t wrong.

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A Elegy to my past and the death that surrounds it

I cried for the first time about death today

I’ve experienced it more than I want

It runs deep, screaming in my front yard.

I’ve got a scar, and I realized it’s there

Not gone

I’ve been suppressing my emotions for so long

I feel utterly withdrawn

As I make my way back to reality

I’ve been confronted with the pain I’ve held back.

Death surrounds me

Death has grown up with me

Death will continue to crawl in my closet

watching, it’s checking its pockets

Looking for the people he dropped

Grabbing those who I care about a lot

Childhood trauma

I hear it a lot

So as I puff this marijuana

And try to find the nirvana I had as a kid

Shit, I wish it was as easy.

Was I even as happy as I believe?

Wish me luck, cause I’m going in.  

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Don’t Jump Off Poem

Drag my body

and drain my blood

Because tonight I’m changing the world with love

call it quits, or call me nuts

But I’ll create till the sun comes up

I’ve been having chills

Every shiver kills

I’ve been so cold

Sensations return

Good things become reborn

I turned 21

and didn’t die

And if you asked me the same before 18

I’d say “Hell, I ain’t gon’ lie! I ain’t got time!”

I turned 21

when I thought at 18 I’d be gone.

Come on, ain’t nothing to dwell on.

Drag on, hold on, lead on, live on.

But don’t jump off.

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A Poem About My Memory

I speak fast because I’ll forget what I say

My memory is bad

I speak fast because I’ll forget what I say

Sometimes I forget what I say.

I forgot what I ate yesterday

I write these poems to portray what I say

Because my words are mixed up,

messed up

fucked up

the blender stirring

walk away as it runs

give me a reason to remember the day

because otherwise

It will all go away

I sometimes dream of leaving the state

Imagine resetting the life you play

Call it quits, give yourself a new name

that’s be the dream….

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My Art Poem

I create art that relates to me

I’ve learned to not let what others think

Portray my ways

I have a constant feeling of needing to create

I have a constant feeling of not being enough

Because I missed so much growing up

My grandma was an art teacher

She taught me a lot

I wish I listened on the spot

My confidence got in the way,

My childhood stirred the pot

Depression likes to creep up on me.

My confidence stinks. It likes to spit on me

Call me names

My mood switches fast, like when curvy roads in Italy

I wish I could paint Italy

I wish I could paint a smile.

I create art that makes me happy

I release my feelings when feeling unhappy.

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Sometimes It Feels As If

Sometimes I feel as if I should push everyone away.

It feels as if everyone would prefer it that way.

Sometimes it feels like everyone hates me.

It feels as if someone dated me they’d hate me.

And they do, even if they don’t admit it.

Sometimes I think I overthink too much

It feels as if I should grab a drink sometimes.

Sometimes I can’t breathe from being so worried about what I did.

It feels as if everything that leaves my mouth is hurried and broken.

Please don’t mistake my words for dumb

I wish I could portray myself more but sadly i’m numb.

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Monotone Emotions

I’ve been told I don’t portray enough emotions.

I wish I knew how to share more.

I’ve been told I act like I don’t care.

That’s fair.. I don’t blame them. 

It’s not true though.

I care more everyday

I love more everyday

Feel like a fantasy

Confusion combined with anxiety.

What does that mean?

Did I do something stupid?

Why am I so worried about my image.

I mean no damage.

I wish I could share how I feel.

I can understand how others feel.

Why can’t I understand situations when it comes to me.

Surrounded by screens, loud music.

Did I take the situation wrong?

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Dog Fight Poem

hours feel like minutes.

and minutes feel like days

and yes im stuck in such similar ways

i find myself wanting isolation

to the point of no preservation

days go by and i feel more and more broken

trying to find my meaning

my head is like an illegal dog fight

bloody and anxiety filled

i wish it would get shut down already

so they could save the dogs